My last show was 11-19-2017. I did three shows back to back in 2017 and then began my off-season.
I have been in my off-season for 7 months now and am contemplating on when/if I should compete again. My goal going into 2018 was to take 1 year off. I have NEVER taken more than 7 months off between shows-prep, and honestly I am really enjoying this off-season. I am only 10 lbs from stage weight, so weight and dropping isn’t a concern for me. I am happy with where I am at physically. (I will do another blogs on post-show tips, body-image issues after competing, reverse dieting, healthy prep, etc).
Where am I mentally? Well, to start let me go back to last November when I finished competing. 2017 prep was the easiest (except for a small bump in the road with my body – needed a macro adjustment – then all was well) and yet it was the hardest mentally for me. I waited to begin prep until I was 100% mentally and physically ready to begin because I knew I was going to go full force and kill my prep. By June 1st I hadn’t yet felt “it’s go time” and knew that if I didn’t start prep by July 1 I wouldn’t have time. So I convinced myself mentally I was serious and ready. Hired a new coach, to help with motivation and wanted to actually be coached since I hadn’t been coached for a couple years (yes I had hired a coach, but in all reality I coached myself, but that’s another story). I wanted full accountability to someone and I wanted to follow their plan to the T, which I did. This helped me mentally to get into prep-mode and set my goals (below). It was a hard prep because my meal prep was completely different than prior preps, and although I never cheated, I was obsessing over food. I will never do a prep like that again, but went through the process because I wanted to see exactly how I would do throughout it and how I would look on stage. This has never happened to me before, and I didn’t like it one bit. I certainly won’t do that again. I have prepped myself for 4 years and I know what my body likes. I commend myself for sticking it out throughout the entire prep.
My 2017 show goals:
· To at least get second call-outs or to place in the middle
· To improve physically in my abs, to bring down my quad size and tighten glutes
· To come in 2-3 lbs lighter than prior stage weight
· Improve posing
I met all of my goals (except for getting 2nd callouts in pro-open). I know exactly what I need to work on if/when I prep again.
But do I want to prep again? Competition prep is more mental than anything, and I have always had fairly good mental strength for prep, and I have to credit my healthy prep for that and show-timing as well. But this last prep was a doozy for me mentally as previously noted. I have been observing shows this year as well as following fellow competitors I am just not sure if I want to continue to subject myself to this sport anymore. The political side of competition is so blatantly obvious, but I have known this since I was a newbie and wondered why no-one ever said anything about it (again, another blog topic).
For the past 5 months or so I have noticed a significant increase in competitors, mainly pro's, pulling out of competing. I certainly am seeing some type of shift in the pro-bikini world and I really just want to see where all it is going, but only time will tell. I did have a feeling and assumptions (as soon as the Olympia qualifications changed) that there would be a change in the shows and how pro’s compete. I am starting to see what I expected. In my opinion, these qualification changes may work just fine for most divisions, I honestly don’t think it is logical for the bikini division or maybe even figure division. Women can’t be that lean year round like that and I expect a lot more competitors to drop out of competing due to health issues eventually, even some now because of these issues (yet again, that’s for another blog).
Currently I am still on the fence as to if I want to compete again. I love the flexibility I have with my daily schedule and the freedom to choose to not workout if I don't want to. But the flip side of me has physical goals - stage goals that I would like to challenge myself to achieve. If I decide to compete again, it is because I absolutely love the whole prep process and the excitement of being on stage, and seeing how my body changes with each show. Yes, of course I want to place well, but for the most part it has always been about the love of the sport for me and how I motivate and inspire others to challenge themselves and live a healthier life.
I also love how I have completely transformed from day one to today. I always wondered what it would be like to have a complete or extreme “make-over” and what I would look like if I did. I feel more confident with myself and have gained more inner strength as well. I honestly do want to try one-more-time to improve upon the area(s) that I need to and see if I can once again meet my goals, with the ultimate cherry on top of finally placing 1-2 call-outs. I do have some shows in mind as I need something to at least work towards, but I mentally do not want to commit to a show or a date. I would want to approach this prep completely different than other prep.
When deciding to compete, first and foremost you have to be mentally ready. As of today I am not, nor do I have the desire to compete. I have new goals for myself, and do not include prepping. I feel great with my decision at this point and excited for some new challenges. The prep bug might bite soon, or never again. Stay tuned….
